As summer fades into the background and fall looms in, a significant shift takes place in countless households worldwide. The transition from high school to university is a momentous occasion for both teenagers and their parents. It marks the beginning of a new chapter in life, one filled with independence, challenges, and self-discovery. How can we apply what, Jonas Salk once mentioned, “Give children roots and wings: Roots to know where home is, wings to fly away and exercise what’s been taught to them?”

While much attention is devoted to preparing children for their first day of school, there is often a dearth of support and discussions regarding how to support teenagers and how parents process the experience when their children embark on their university journey.

Preparing the path to independence actually starts from day one, without really overwhelming children or forcing them into obligations which they are not yet ready for. It is essential to be mindful of what they can do and how to guide them into learning new skills. For example, by the time these children are teenagers, they should be capable of doing basic life skills, such as cooking, cleaning, ironing, and applying money literacy. After all, these lessons pave the way for self-sufficiency.

One good way to implement this is to have the teenager experiment with living independently, while still at home, for a month or two before heading off to university. This trial run includes managing their own meals, cleaning up after themselves and handling their salary. While it may lead to a few mishaps, it’s a valuable preparatory learning experience.

However, as much as parents focus on arming their teenagers with these skills, there’s another more profound aspect to this transition: the emotional one. It’s the process of slowly cutting the metaphorical umbilical cord and allowing their teens to explore the world independently. This is a journey that many parents often find emotionally challenging.

It is, in fact, a bittersweet emotion when you let go…..

As these dynamic adolescents pack their bags and embark on their university adventure, parents are met with a swirl of emotions that often goes unspoken. There’s an undeniable sense of pride, as they witness their children taking their steps towards adulthood and self-reliance. At the same time, beneath this pride there is also a sense of loss. The family dynamic changes and the home feels quieter. The dinner table is no longer set for seven for example, and the recently empty bedroom serves as a constant reminder that a chapter has closed. It is essential to have open conversations about how you, your teenager, and their siblings feel about this new stage in your lives. However, it’s crucial to be mindful of not burdening your youngster with your worries and concerns. Remember, as parents, you are responsible for managing your emotions, and it’s not their responsibility to bear that burden.

I wanted to highlight on these feelings because this transformative experience is not just about the teenagers but their parents as well. While there could be an abundance of resources available to help parents prepare their children for this milestone, there is a lack of attention given to the emotional journey parents undergo when their cherished children leave the nest.

As these youngsters move to university, it is a time of significant growth, both for them and their parents. It is important for parents to acknowledge the mixed emotions they may feel and to find ways to cope with the bittersweet journey of letting go. It’s a transition that marks the beginning of a new chapter for both generations, filled with opportunities for self-discovery, growth, and the strengthening of the parent-child bond from afar.

Let me know if you are currently passing through a similar experience.