As parents, we all have the urge to provide the best life possible for our children, but in our haste to protect and guide them, we may unintentionally fall in the trap of shaming, both ourselves and our children, when we fail to keep up and perfect the heavy load we have created for all of us.

Parenting can bring up feelings of guilt and inadequacy, and we may feel criticized or judged for the decisions we make on a daily basis. According to Dr. Brene Brown, shame is “the intensely painful feeling that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging… unworthy of connection.”

It takes us years to realize that the shame we experience as children follows us into parenthood, impacting our ability to be the good enough parent we can be. In addition, shame can also be an inner trigger that arises when we face a parenting challenge, causing us to react negatively and to perpetuate the cycle of shame.

When we approach parenting in a non-mindful way, we recreate shame in our children. This can happen when we ignore our own healing, fear our own story, or allow others to dictate who we are. However, by practicing mindfulness, we can break the cycle of shame and empower both ourselves and our children. Here are four top tips for doing so:

• Take time for self-care: prioritize your own well-being to prevent burnout and create a positive role model for your children.
• Embrace imperfection: let go of the pressure to be a perfect parent and instead focus on being a present and an intentional one.
• Be honest and accountable: model honesty and accountability to create a safe and non-judgmental environment for your children.
• Encourage open communication: create a space for your children to express their feelings and thoughts without fear of judgment or shame.

Finally, remember, you are the author of your own story, and shame is just one of the many threads woven into the fabric of your life. But when you hide it away, it can fester and grow, spilling out into the lives of your loved ones. Instead, embrace your story with all its imperfections, and work towards healing and self-compassion. This will lead to a newfound freedom and peace within yourself, which will ultimately radiate outwards to the world around you.

So, let me know what would be the title of your story. The choice is always yours.